


Gesic: The Crooked Almost-Doctor

by GrayHox



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:16:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24682954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayHox/pseuds/GrayHox
Kudos: 3





	Gesic: The Crooked Almost-Doctor

Ya know, sometimes while doing all this work I can’t help but think of how things used to be. How they could have been. Fate’s a real bitch, sending me to this shithole instead of up there where I belong. Do I look like a bad guy to you? No need to answer that, I already know what you’re thinking. ‘You look like an eight eyed freak and you probably make children cry.’ Well first of all, what’s wrong with making children cry? Little fuckers are nothing but annoyances with no sense of class anyway. Secondly, I wasn’t supposed to be this way, you insensitive bastard. Only reason I’m here is cuz of one single fucking jackass.

I wasn’t a bad person. I was born into some high middle class family. The kind that is well enough off but no one knows who they are. They aren’t important anyway, not like they were ever there for me when I needed them, the lazy fucks. I ditched them after grad and went off to join a medical school of all things. Something about knowing what makes people tick sounded like a fun time to me… and I guess holding their lives in my hands wasn’t a bad gig either but that’s not the point here. Eventually those stuffy bastards in the academy kicked me out cuz they found out I wasn’t a guy. Can you believe that shit? Who fucking cares? My ability to hold a scalpel isn’t decided by what’s between my legs, for fuck’s sake.

Anyway, it was during one of my bar hops after exams that I met this guy. Real slick guy. Dressed like some kind of suit if he was trying to be casual. Like this guy had dressed to go to a wedding followed by some lines of coke with the boys. Well we hit it off real good. He bought me a couple good drinks, and was even a nice enough guy not to drug them. He asked what I do and I told him I’m a med student. ‘No shit?’ He said it just like that. Like he had more thoughts running through his head than just what I said.

Now get this; a couple months after that shitshow of a class kicked me out, this guy barges into my place with these other guys. One of those guys is bleeding like a goddamn fountain. He tosses the bleeding guy onto my table and says ‘you’re a doctor right? Fix him.’ Before I could remind him I’m just a student, he flashed some cash. Now I ain’t talking tiny bills here; he had fucking Franklins lined up for me. How could I say no to that kinda offer? I get to work with whatever knowledge and tools I have nearby. Ended up using fuckin thread to sew him back up after digging some bullets out with my own hands.

That was the start of a real good line of work, see? My bar friend turned out to be some mobster. None of those filthy gangs, the real deal. Italians in suits and all that shit. Let me tell ya, doing treatments no questions asked for those fancy fucks pays a hell of a lot better than whatever I could have been making at a clinic. So much more fun too. I wasn’t a real doctor and didn’t have a license, but that just left no paper trail for the feds to sniff us out. It was a real sweet deal. That is until a group of the guys comes in carrying this scrawny looking fella. You wouldn’t believe how much he was convulsing. Looked like a damn fish outta water. Heartbeat pounding like a stampede, eyes twitching back and forth like he’s trying to not get caught fucking a cantalope. I did all I could for the guy, but he was already too far gone. Didn’t even get the chance to find out what was wrong with him before the other suits started to freak out. They say he was a real important player in the family and they are gonna be in so much trouble. Not my damn problem, is it? Well apparently it fucking is, cuz the guy in the middle says he’s telling the boss I poisoned the dead one on purpose. Not even a chance to get a word of protest in before he pulls out a piece and shoots me six fucking times! This slimy fucker framed me to save his own damn skin! Oh I am never gonna forget his voice. Once I hear that voice, once I think that prick is down here, I’m gonna make him wish he never fucked with me.

So there I am, bleeding to death on my own floor while some cowardly fucks run off with my patient. Did they call a doctor for me? Or anyone? Of fucking course not. Just left me there on my own. Didn’t even have the courtesy to close the goddamn door. Felt like hours before I finally couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and I fell asleep. Or that’s what I was expecting, but instead I find myself slamming hard on concrete after falling from the damn sky! Do you have any idea how much of a headache suddenly having six more eyes causes on top of that? A real fucking headache, I’ll tell ya. Took me years before I finally got used to all those, not to mention having more goddamn arms than I know what to do with. It turns out that ‘practicing medicine without a license’ and ‘saving murderers’ is a real big no-no for some dumbfuck reason and so I got sent to Hell. Hell! I didn’t do a fucking thing wrong and yet here I am, all cuz of those fucks at the academy and those pricks in the mob. Not only that, but it looks like a bunch of mobsters here are spiders. Don’t ask me why, honestly I don’t give a rat’s ass. Except that I got lumped in with them for god fuckin knows why. I never took no oath, all I did was provide a service.

See? Do I really sound like I belong here? Of course you don’t have to answer that either, I can see it in your eyes. Well… I seem to have lost track of time in all this rambling, and that anesthetic is probably gonna wear off of ya soon. I don’t really feel like getting some more right now, so just keep calm, yeah? Now where were we… heart transplant? Oh right… you had a broken leg. Eh, you can use a new heart anyway, your old one sucks.


End file.
